we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
