I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
