What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
