i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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