In the future we'll all be gay
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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