At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
