Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
