I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
