Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im part way to drunk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
