the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
