there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
