My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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