This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
