I hate your face
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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