I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
