Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
