You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
