hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
