I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
