So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
