Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
