Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
