Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(229): View more from Georgia

You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru

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(214): View more from Texas

We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now

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(850): View more from Florida

My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container

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(818): View more from California

Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.

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