i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
