just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
