i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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