every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
