i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The best revenge is premature balding
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
