Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
