oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
