I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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