just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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