Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
