HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The Olympian is in my bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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