turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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