So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
