His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Houston, we have a squirter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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