Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
