New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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