If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
