Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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