mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize