Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
