I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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