what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
