My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
