I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
