There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
