let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
