K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
