"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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