do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
